2015 Reflections - Part 2: Music with a baby in tow

I won’t hide the fact that before having Ava, I was scared. There was a ‘good’ scared - and adrenaline-like feeling for what was to come. I was nervous, happy, excited. At the same time, I also felt scared that my life would stop and that everything I had worked for until now would have to be put on hold. Were those thoughts selfish? Maybe… But what I realized is that these feelings were mostly brought on by others. People telling me that I’d have to ‘slow down,’ that I wouldn’t be able to do as much with a baby, and the list goes on. All my positivity was being shoved aside by others’ perception of what could happen. And so I stopped listening to them. Sure, you can’t control what will happen, but I thought the best for me was to stay positive and go with the flow. And you know what, we found a way to make it work! Since Ava was born, she's attended 11 of my concerts, 4 radio shows and several open mics! And for those saying, it will only get harder, well maybe. But I know we’ll make it work.



Je ne vous cacherai pas qu’avant d’avoir Ava, j’avais peur. Il y avait une ‘bonne’ peur, comme l’adrénaline qu'on ressent avant un grand saut. J’étais nerveuse, joyeuse, excitée. Mais je ressentais une autre sorte de peur. La peur de ne pas pouvoir poursuivre ma musique ou de devoir mettre une pause à ma vie, à mes rêves. Ça vous semble égoïste? Peut-être… Mais j’ai vite réalisé que je me sentais ainsi à cause des gens autour de moi. On me disait qu’avec un enfant je ne pourrais pas faire autant, il faudrait ralentir… Mais ce sont ces messages négatifs qui me poussaient à avoir peur. Et donc, j’ai arrêté d’écouter. Je sais bien qu'on ne peut contrôler le futur, mais j’aimais mieux rester positive. Et vous savez quoi? Depuis sa naissance, Ava est venue à 11 concerts, 4 émissions de radio et quelques open mics! Et pour ceux qui diront que ça sera plus difficile avec le temps, et bien, vous avez peut-être raison. Mais je sais qu’on s’ajustera.

L-R: Soundcheck for Ottawa Bluesfest at the Rideau Centre; Union Station in Toronto; after my gig at CityFolk in Ottawa; singing songs on CKCU FM; practicing!


 

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